The Waiting Chapter 16
not looked back. I went ahead
burned tires while the asphalt of the road while everything inside me told me I would turn around and get it.
Jacob's voice was booming mental in my mind, as if speaking directly into my ears.
"- But what the hell ...? -. I had thought to see Bella.
thought her dress was ridiculous and unnecessary. I thought that with him nothing could happen.
But as I could never protect.
He was nothing but an absurd and unconscious werewolf, too young to see the danger was increasingly forcing my tolerance.
Damn! Why I had set to be reasonable?!
Was not it easier to be selfish and intransigent?
Yes, it was the best ... but the best for me and only me.
It was not what she deserved.
My hand sought his cell phone remained in my pocket, would have to wait for time to play with my mind again.
I got home where his old minivan waiting for her, just where it to myself.
could not understand why Bella felt some affection for that old and worn pileup which certainly gave him more problems nothing.
Then I stopped for a moment against him and possibly at that time would have been easier to compare and find similarities.
My heart was an old rusty pileup until she came into my life. I was also a be washed before I met inside.
Now however was different, was someone trying to be better and therefore should remain frozen until it is full again.
But it was so hard to do, was so hard it hurt in the attempt.
a cold heart can freeze an entire breast? Loneliness can be so miserable and deadly when you have the company of the beloved?
Yes, if I could.
Many months had felt that sensation. But today I felt again as if for the first time.
Loneliness, loneliness, bitter and tortuous loneliness.
I went to my car and crawled up the old monovolunen, he also seemed to be waiting for her.
was stupid to stay there to be a lost soul, but I guess it was futile to fight the current.
me away from there. Stay
static would not work, neither would permacer at home waiting.
again grabbed the small mobile in my hand and started running through the trees trying to avoid the unavoidable. She
was there with them, sitting next to him without question.
Laughing and sharing ... being happy.
Being happy ... and really that was all that mattered ... his happiness.
then I ran a little more as he felt the wind in my face. I closed my eyes remembering
caresses, the gentle touch of his fingers on my skin ...
Each and every one of my actions inevitably led me to think about it, my life, my love, my Bella.
-! Running with my eyes closed! Now that's new. Suddenly the voice said Emmett. - Are you trying to estamparte against a tree? Because if so I would like view, surely it would be fun to see.
a leap climbed a grand fir following the sound of the voice of my cheeky brother.
"I guess you have nothing better to do at this time. I replied.
"No, not really.
Esme and Alice are patrolling the town and the home of the Swan. Jasper and Carlisle are walking around, Rosalie is at home covering the rear and I am here not to watch.
"I do not know or who are waiting, but I'm sure soon will stand before us and then, it's time ... -
- you'll fall over and end up with him once and for all ... Yes! -. He cried, forgetting for a moment his task.
The remaining wildlife around shook by his cry of joy.
apparently no longer go unnoticed hiding there in the tree.
"Come on. Added jumping to the ground.
not intended to be distracted for a moment, I was happy as a worm writhing in pain.
- What do you expect? - I asked to see that I'm not moving.
Would you have laughed to know that waiting for her?
no doubt I would have done if he remained sitting there waiting for my cell phone rang.
With much effort I also jumped from the tree.
There was nothing I wanted to do eses same time, just wait, wait, wait and wait. Wishing does not always have to.
was agony, suffering.
My feet hit the floor unable to move.
- Vamos! -. Whipped again my brother while on his way back with the intention of dragging it if necessary.
And knew that I could do it if he wanted to be.
knew that would not bother, that was just a futile attempt to entertain ...
As if that were possible!. Then Emmett
I ran and jumped on his steps.
"I think it's a good chance to go to Seattle. What do you think?. Just you and me.
With my strength and your ability I'm sure we could stop whoever is doing this disorder. He said after a second.
"Maybe you're right, but tonight I'm busy and do not intend to leave town for anything.
- What if? -. Asked sarcastically.
not mess, none of your business.
"Certainly not my business, is very well that women have to give them their space and neither should we ban anything ... .- said recalling the first and last time something barred Rosalie.
Poor Esme, that day was completely destroyed by the table of the fifteenth century he so adored.
But I think my brother had earned. Do not you know that no matter how many shoes you have a woman?. Regardless of which will always have room for one more and that should not be getting it for the world.
Remember all that conjure up a smile on my lips and I surprised myself to see what I could do to be away from her.
"Thank you. I told my brother not stop running.
- "Thanks for what? -. Asked surprised. "I do not understand but if I want to truly thank you better come with me once to the city.
"First of all and since we're talking about Rosalie, I can not even imagine he would do if found out vigilante we went to Seattle.
Second, Carlisle did not think it prudent to do so and I agree with him, and come when we can act and there, you can be sure we all would.
"Mmm. He said thinking for a moment. "Maybe you're right about Rosalie, I do not want anger Carlisle but this waiting is killing me.
Me too waiting was killing me and it seemed that this was the only thing to lately.
To kill time we decided to run after a group of deer feeding on none but me, that night they ended up with no life. It was this little creature who wanted to stab him with my sharp teeth.
phone vibrate and I felt a microsecond after holding it in my hand and immediately recognized the number.
- Bella! -. I said without measuring the exuberance of my words. - Are you okay Bella? -. But nobody answered.
I heard a sort of chuckle on the other side of the phone, that person could not be Bella.
What if she was, who would it be? ...
my question was stupid, so stupid as my reaction was so stupid that I could hear the laughter of Jacob Black. I regained my composure
was a waste of time to ask but mustering all the dignity which would be asked even knowing the answer:
- Who speaks? -.
-heee ... is ... Jacob Black. Replied laughing last.
- Where is Bella? ... If something bad has it happened ...-.
-Wow ... Calm down, calm down! -.
- Answer at once! -. I demanded almost insanely.
"It must be terrible to be like you. Now said seriously. "I assumed you were a little ... How to speak politely? ... Mmmm ..." Driver? "Yes, that's the word. I assumed you were just a little bit driver but never thought it was so bad. Jacob Black then let out another laugh from her teeth. "She is fine, only has fallen asleep and I did not want to wake that's all.
I tried to follow his mental voice through the space between us then, but I was too far from the reservation, was useless.
I started running completely forgot my brother.
- Where you going? -. Emmett asked as I walked away from the fast. - Crazy! Vampire Crazy!
Go get it brother! -. My mind screamed as he ran toward the house of my parents without opening the phone to my ear.
- Where now? -. Jacob asked.
"I told you, this peacefully asleep in my car, there is no need to worry tibia.
- I'll decide on that or I can not worry! -.
That meant she was not there our views on race changed into something, we knew how dangerous they were, especially for humans, and I was more than aware of the lack of control of their species.
"They are humans who must fear us and not those who hunt them. Answered between his teeth, obviously upset by my words. "Anyway I did not call to discuss, at this point I would take the little time I have left to enjoy a little company of Bella ... of course this only until you come through it which will be in? ... -
Then I jumped the creek that separated our house from the rest of the forest and weighed a time when I would drag the old drive to the reservation Bella and I decided to go in mine.
He intended to take only a few minutes to get to it, and not twenty as I take if I used yours.
"Five minutes.
In five minutes I'll be waiting in the same place where the leave.
"There will be then. And with that he hung up the call.
A groan rose from my chest but calmly
inal and Exalead
And anyway too late to arrive.
I struggled with my foot, not to fight all the force my body as he tried calling me to tread gently on the accelerator, but felt no sense to do so.
was aware it would come faster if I got off and pushed the car with my own hands.
But I could not expose myself that way.
much time had passed since the heyday of the lumber industry in the region, now the roads were almost ghost roads. Nobody used to use too, remained almost deserted, but I could not risk much less risk to my family.
arrive soon and yet when I got there there was no trace of them.
closed my eyes letting my ears and my mind I look, I recognized engine sound Black Jabob car up the road and only a second later I could hear his mind.
car light her way through the darkness around them, the engine noise rose above the roar of the waves breaking around on the beach.
saw the way through his eyes and saw Bella also the head propped on his shoulder.
Then I clung to the seat of my car shot out struggling not to pass them and break the neck of Jacob Black.
turned off the engine and leaned my head on the steering wheel.
Why could not keep all the emotions together and encapsulated inside?
wanted to tie all and push the bottom of my being, that the monster who lived in my play with them a moment, I wanted my mind was free of murderous desires.
"That was love, so was doomed to love?
Once again I focused on the mental voice of Jacob, and this time I caught him effortlessly.
were closer and could see the lights also came and up the road slowly, deliberately slow. Jacob Black wanted
not reach the same strength that I wanted to do so.
emerged in his mind all the smiles that were drawn on Bella's face that night.
least my suffering was not been in vain, at least she had been happy.
And killed me that I was not included in that happiness.
But it's all over and although he would not come anyway, and she and I be together again, together again until she wanted to get away from me.
And again I swallow the poison that flooded my mouth and extend the best of my smiles and relaxed, with my face unchanged, with the mask of self-control would be outside, away from me to go with him, for he was sure that would always be with him.
And I would have to accept it, did not require Bella choose, not your heart split in two even if it cost me ... it cost me the soul, if I had.
only a few seconds after the car stopped a few feet, about twenty to be exact and heard and saw very clearly what was happening inside the little car.
Jacob opened the window slightly raised his head and sniffing the breeze that filtered complement and was aware of my presence.
Bela stroked the hair as she watched him as if his life depended on it. Then he leaned for a second and if I had not caught all his thoughts as he would have sworn to the idea crossed her mind to kiss her.
Just be aware of my presence was to abandon the idea.
then searched your ear and talking softly said
"Hey, come on, Bella, returns.
was just inches away from her to see her face and saw how he woke up. That
awakening that only belonged to me now was his.
Bella blinked a few times while looking confused around well but without lifting the face of Jacob's shoulder and after a full minute exclaimed
"Oh, heavens. His voice came haltingly confused and somewhat scared. - What time is it? Damn, where did I save that stupid phone? -.
He remembered his stupid moves while trying to locate the phone in a pocket of Bella.
Damn dog! Could kill him just for that. Once again
fight my instincts, against my wishes to take his life. Bella
searched through his clothes, the mobile remained in the hand of his friend and they asked him to calm down.
"It is not yet midnight. I've already called me. And he lifted his chin toward the direction where I was told. "Look, we are waiting.
- Midnight? -. Bella answered still confused. The
kept looking at him so in this time I favored and that through his eyes I could see she too was eager to come with me.
My heart thawed by the desire to have him in my arms again and to feel his warmth beside my body. I saw
rushed out of the car and watched as he stopped for a few seconds to hand the phone putting it in the palm of your hand, this surprised Bella.
- Have you called Edward in my place? -. He asked.
His mind drew a smile to remember my reaction to receiving your call and I cursed myself for being so ... vulnerable.
"I thought it could be a more time with you if I played my cards right.
"Thanks, Jake -. She answered, clearly excited. "I really appreciate it, and also for inviting me tonight. It was .... Wow, has been something really special.
Jacob said something which I did not understand, did not see the memory in your mind, something about a cow and how Bella had lost. Words without meaning for me but certainly kept a secret, a secret I could not see.
He laughed their incomprehensible words and then it continued.
"Yes, I'm glad you liked it. It was ... great for me. To have you here I mean.
The parting was too long, dear What else to say?. What supposedly loved? What not to go, what then would have a normal life, a life with a future?
And that was true, basically all I knew it was true, that would really. If she chose to be with him. I'd have all that and maybe more.
Those hopes were floating in his mind like a shoal of fishes, swimming around each word, every breath he took. With breath of his body home.
But while she did not ask why I would like a shadow next to her ... forever. Bella
looked where I was and then walked a few steps toward her and she was always looking forward with me.
"Well, not so patient, what is not? -. He said looking at me too. "Go away, but come back soon, okay? -.
She promised she would do so while the car down.
His body shook slightly to cope with change in temperature, the night was cold and the air you could smell the rain coming.
"Sleep well, Bella. Jacob told Bella while descending. "Do not worry about anything. I'll be watching you all night.
The damn was only gain time, every word he manipulated unconsciously, but he manipulated. Bella
responded to his words and his voice was distressed when she asked him not to, to rest a little. Assuring that would be fine. And there was no doubt about it whatsoever.
"Okay, okay -. I replied remembering that he was exhausted but I was sure that did not stop.
Bella once again left him and Jacob Black could not do anything to keep him good-bye to her as well.
I did not wait for her to stay away from the line to go for it, I moved as fast as I could and waited for him near the edge.
Too eager, too anxious, too many things could happen while she ran to my humanity. Too many things could still turn away. Basically
knew it was impossible for that to happen but I could not think of a thousand things could happen.
An earthquake, lightning, things I could not control and that a man could ever happen flicker.
laughed by my silly fears.
She had already spent many months without me and there it was, whole, alive. Bella did not need me to protect her or to live. The only dependent on this story was me.
- Bella! -. I could tell when he finally arrived at my side.
His heartbeat was accelerated by jogging and rang in my ears, filling my head, I was happy again, and everything was alive again thanks to her.
"Hi. Sorry I'm late. I fell asleep y. ..- started to say, trying to apologize but I stopped him, explaining that he was aware of all that his friend had called me.
- Are you tired? I can carry you. I told him to see suffering from the cold but she said it was fine.
"I'll take you home to bed. Did you have a good time? -.
"If Edward has been amazing. He said suddenly illuminated like a girl coming of an amazing and magical and incredible journey. "I would have liked would have been. No words to explain. Jake's father told us the old legends and was something ... something magical.
"You told me, but after you've slept. Sleep in his voice was clear, moreover not want him even a little longer exposed to the cold of the night.
"I do not remember everything -. Said in response to my words then yawned, closing his eyes almost shot down by fatigue.
few seconds just enough inside the car for her to return to sleep as children do.
no answer for it opened the passenger door and took her in my arms to sit and tie the belt right at the time that Jacob Black was leaving thinking how damn lucky I was.
I stood and softly closed the door to climb once and for all in my car and get out of there.
As anticipated Bella slept all the way back to his house where Esme was hidden in the shadow of the trees.
-back soon. I said kissing her forehead. "I promise. I looked
then the voice of my mother was nearby and threw me down the road. Only the
out of town I stopped, got out of the car and ran through the forest after Esme.
while running I could feel the distant thump of a pair of legs on the ground moist.
not need to rely on my ability to know who it was.
He also ran in the night, in the thick forest.
Esme was very close to Bella's house, leaning against a tree and walked me to my willingness to give me all the comfort that only a mother can give.
"It was a quiet night dear. You should not be worried. Everything is fine. He told me to come with her. - How you've spent your Edward? Have you been less torturous this time to be away it?
"No, I never cease to be.
"I'm so sorry. But as time passed the pain.
"I think that not having it will hurt forever.
"Forever is a word that only beings as we understand, is very well what you mean.
But today she chose to be away from you and you make it possible. There
most loving act to sacrifice our own happiness for that of being loved.
"But that cushion my pain Esme, it does not at all.
"Easy, now it's over tonight. Go to her son, go with it awaits you there with the window open.
I asked my mother to take my car started falling while tiny drops of rain and giving three jumps I sneaked out the window of Bella that remained open for me as I said my mother. Bella
shivering, it was a foolish to wait there by the window. In an act
completely useless for me hugged him forget for a moment the absolute lack of warmth in my body.
- Is Jacob out there? -. Asked muttered, shivering.
"Yes, somewhere. And Esme is answered on the way home.
Bella let out a sigh, he believed that all our surveillance measures were absurd, I thought it was too cold at night so that someone was outside in the middle of the night and went to shake my arms.
"Only you're cold, Bella. Answered could not help laughing.
"Enough of concerns for tonight. You better goals than once to bed and rest.
"I'm not tired. He said yawning again.
cover him up and lay down beside her.
- kiss me at bedtime? -. Asked, passed one arm over my chest.
kissed his forehead and eyes that close.
kissed the tip of his nose and lips gently. Bella
"Sleep, sleep my life. I told her nanny and then hum until she fell asleep not long after.
Lying beside her, with her warm arms wrapped around my body looked at the dark clouds and rain hitting the glass window.
It then crashed into the move slowly, almost painfully until it lost after the wooden frame.
I was like those drops and I had crashed into Bella.
My life had burst in the incident and was not even a trace of self that had been and ever, but live a thousand years after that first day would be the same for me. She
again be prevented being obnoxious that he had been for many years, but had an instinct that he could not forget, an instinct that was still living in me.
And it was this instinct that begged me to jump out the window and hunt to be moving in the depths of the night threatening my happiness. Bella
turned a little restless in his bed, his eyelids closed moved from side to side quickly, a dream haunted his unconscious and apparently was not a very pleasant. I stroked her forehead
trying to calm and apparently worked. SeguĂ
dedicated to my thoughts then ... That night nobody
notary if someone or something decides to end his life would be easy to do.
you miss it no doubt, but nobody could say that his disappearance was nothing strange in his race.
hide his body, nobody will ever find him and then I would be free of his presence, his obsession with Bella and no one else would come between us.
I sat then gently supporting my elbows on my legs and then rest my head in my hands.
had to fight those impulses.
For Bella had to do but I do not really conform to it.
Then I saw he was on his bedside an old, worn book.
Its leaves were open so many times they had been read and reread.
was the copy of "Wuthering Heights."
I thought of the strange fascination exercised over the characters Bella, was almost identical to what she felt for me and I weighed for a moment of revelation that came to my eyes.
His characters were cool, too evil .... Too similar to me. Puzzled
took the copy in my hands and without much thought I started reading random fragments and stopped Chapter XIV and then a paragraph fully capture my attention and there in that small room, in this book I found the answer be stripped to support and placate the tribulations that attacked my heart, I found the answer to avoid being a heartless murderer, found the why would not that night ... or else hunt
Jacob Black ... "I only contains the fear of punishment that this may cause." "I said Heathcliff," You see how different are our feelings. Had he been in my place and I in him, never would have dared to raise my hand against him. Look at me with disbelief all you want, but well. Never would have thrown his company as she received with satisfaction. Now, just had ceased to show affection, he would have ripped the heart and drank his blood! But until then, had let me cut up rather than touch a hair of his head "We were
same pain, same feelings.
That night, after almost seventy years of having read the novel by Emily Brontë, that night I felt sympathy for the first time and I managed to understand the true nature of the feelings of their protagonists.
And I knew that was what really stopped me, that was the only reason for not breaking the fragile neck of Jacob Black once and for all, I just stopped the pain that would violate Bella if he did.
He was altogether the most luck with that I had known, just my infinite love for her save her life. Then Bella
articulated a strange word I did not understand and his body shook almost violently and then turn to me to burn again.
I feared for a moment that I had woken up but it was just a nightmare.
Maybe if I was told that she would feel more relaxed but I leave that was hunted and would do in the morning following if they could remember.
- What are you reading? -. Asked wearily, more asleep than awake.
I said I read Wuthering Heights.
"I thought you did not like this book.
"I've left here Forgot -. I whispered a little embarrassed. "Besides, the more time I spend with you, better understand human emotions. I am finding that I sympathize with Heathcliff in ways not previously thought possible.
-Aja
-. He almost plunged again into unconsciousness.
"I think maybe you're right about the book and its characters ... -. And look down to see him in the eyes discovered that I had gone back to sleep deeply.
I did not read that night. Just enjoy the exquisite touch of skin on my beautiful meditation on the discovered almost accidentally.
I did not want to be driven by hatred of Jacob Black, would not succumb, be weak. And I thanked
find there the solution, the strength to fight, to be worthy.
I, unlike Heathcliff, if I could be worthy, if I could redeem myself.
could and would.
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